=Cookies=
Cookies are currency, rewards, bribes, gifts, celebratory desserts, and much, much, more!
They are used or mentioned very frequently around here.
Why?
Well, the story is actually quite simple. It all started when Agent of Dread became a moderator (on the old forums). After discovering this, I posted the following:
PurpleSquerkle wrote:Now I'm scared of you!
AH, HAVE A COOKIE! SERIOUSLY, TAKE IT!
That was when we discovered that, for whatever reason, AoD does not like cookies. Being the good-natured people we are, we all decided to irritate him to no end by passing out cookies at every opportunity.
We still haven't stopped!
The original (albeit slightly revised) cookie recipe (posted by me as requested by Chainsaw) is as follows:
Ingredients:
-Two cups of chocolate chips
-One ground swordfish nose
-A handful of flour
-A teaspoon or so of baking soda
-A pinch of powdered llama breath
-Nine petrified spiders
-A little bit of vanilla for flavor
and
-A quarter-cauldron of magic
Instructions:
Put all the ingredients in a blender, mix until liquefied, then cover in snow taken from the top of a mountain in Tibet (any Tibetan mountain will do). Wait until the snow melts, then place the blender containing the mixture in a pool of water that is home to exactly four and a half frogs (fire-bellied toads are best, but red-eyed tree frogs are good too). Let it stay submerged for three hours. Then take out the blender, open it up, and scoop the dough out onto a pan (use mithril for best results), making all of the cookies the exact same shape and size.
Bake in a dragon's mouth for sixteen seconds.
Originally posted here.
Several alternative recipes have been devised since then by various parties:
Chainsaw's recipe.
Penguinflyer2222's recipe.
=Souls=
Upon joining the forum, you will be asked to surrender your soul and have it taken to our vault, because, as Chainsaw put it, "You won't be needing it here."
Someone should get me a link to Chainsaw's first use of the "Welcome, check your soul at the door, and have a cookie" type of greeting, because I'm not exactly sure when that was.
At any rate, rest assured that they are, erm... safe... with us.
No plans have been made so far as to what we should actually do with them, so for now they stay in the vault. Eventually we may use them to finance something "important", but that's up to Chainsaw (official Warden of souls) to decide.
=The Vault=
Originally used to contain the rapidly multiplying cookies. After we left Informe the problem seemed to vanish; possibly the issues were initially present due to the unstable environment created by the sinister auras of the evil parasites that ended up eating most the forum.
Now the vault, as was just mentioned, is used to store souls.
=The Treehouse=
Zefz' treehouse is where all the admins and devs hang out. We play cards and have cookies and juice and hide from the grownups. No girls or grownups allowed.
=Eskimos=
Current owners of Informe's vast oversupply of cookies. They bought them in an ebay auction.
=Informe=
The foul beast that was the previous forum. Its name is not often uttered in polite conversation.
It was the cause of much grief and strife, eventually producing parasitic growths that ate itself -- purely for its own enjoyment (apparently it bothered us more than it pained itself, or something).
Actually, that's mostly just guesswork. We still don't know what happened there.
=Einbozzling=
Scytale's signature on the old forums read:
Scytale wrote:Those who post single-word/smiley messages should be einbozzled! (You don't know what it is, and believe me, you don't want to.)
Most of us assumed it actually meant something, since at the time he was the only French speaker around, I believe.
As it turns out, it is entirely meaningless.
It has sort of developed into a generic threat of the worst kind. If someone says you should be einbozzled, clearly you have made a serious mistake.
...Either that or they just like messing with your head. It's what we do here, after all.
=Dinner=
Scytale's infamous last post on the old forums:
Scytale wrote:Gotta go: dinner. Will post later.
Sort of an awkward departure, since he didn't post again in those forums, ever.
He did come back eventually, but we never let him forget his last post!
Well, hey. It's funny.
=Bats=
Occasionally Zefz leaves on mysterious trips, possibly to secret girl scout meetings to discuss world domination and what have you.
He also seems to enjoy spelunking, and on at least one occasion has been bitten by a giant bat. Granted, it wasn't actually Zefz who told us this, but Chainsaw (after changing his name in an IRC discussion [#egoboo at irc.icq.net] to "Zefz"), but whatever.
The point is... Well... I'm not quite sure what the point is, actually.
Bats can be deadly.
...Yeah, I think that was it.
=Lightbulbs=
Penguinflyer2222 began to give these out to new members a while back, presumably to add some variety to the endless barrage of cookies.
Whether or not they, too, are edible is ambiguous.
But if you choose not to risk it, they're less temporary, so they're sort of a more practical gift.
=Moderator Remotes=
The moderators on the old forums (Agent of Dread and Clonkinator) received their power from handy remotes. AoD's, at some point, became lodged in Woodmouse's head, but apparently it has been removed since then.
I'm not sure who first came up with the concept of "moderator remotes."
Someone want to help me there?
=MDRT=
MDRT(s) stands for "Maxaxle Doesn't Read Topics/Threads (syndrome)". Really, he doesn't. MDRT is highly contagious, though some have shown to be immune to it. If you often post in a thread without reading it (at least sparingly) you may be suffering a severe case of MDRT, in which case you need to consult a qualified physician or a lamprey.
...I'm sure there are many other things I've forgotten to mention. Remind me, and I will add them.